169: Parenting, Tantra & Kink: How Pleasure, Presence & Play Can Transform Modern Parenting

Girls Gone Deep1h 1mApril 23, 2026

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AI-Generated Summary

In this transformative episode of Girls Gone Deep, hosts V. and Elle welcome Leora, a pleasure coach, mother, and facilitator at the intersection of kink, tantra, and trauma-informed somatics. The conversation dismantles the false dichotomy between parenting and sexual liberation, revealing how pleasure, presence, and play—central to kink and tantra—can profoundly enhance parenting. Leora shares her journey from post-divorce self-discovery to embracing pleasure as a tool for emotional regulation, boundary-setting, and authentic self-expression. She emphasizes that parenting is not about perfection but about attunement, discernment, and creating safe containers where children can experience big emotions without shame. The hosts and guest explore how skills from BDSM—like negotiation, aftercare, and energetic presence—directly translate to parenting, fostering emotional intelligence, resilience, and connection. They advocate for redefining parenting as a joyful, embodied practice rooted in pleasure, not just responsibility, and encourage parents to reclaim their own pleasure as a foundation for better family dynamics.

Key Takeaways
1

Pleasure is a skill, not a talent—investing in your own pleasure makes you a more present, confident, and effective parent.

2

Use the same aftercare practices from kink to help children regulate emotions after meltdowns: let feelings pass, ask reflective questions, and re-engage with love and curiosity.

3

Be the 'captain of the ship' with clarity, consistency, and calm authority—not control—while still being empathetic and attuned to your child’s needs.

4

Sensory play and touch (massage, breath, sound) are powerful tools for calming children’s nervous systems and deepening connection, just as they are in tantric and kink practices.

5

Teach children to speak their boundaries and desires early—like Leora’s daughter who said, 'Not like that, Mama'—to build self-awareness and agency.

…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus

Chapters
0:00
2 min

The Power of Pleasure as a Parenting Foundation

When we invest in our pleasure, we learn the tools somatically in our own body that bring us more alive.

Highlight
2:00
3 min

Leora’s Journey: From Divorce to Pleasure Coaching

Leora shares her post-divorce transformation, diving into tantra and kink as a path to self-discovery, emotional regulation, and personal growth. She reflects on how these practices expanded her life beyond therapy and traditional self-improvement.

5:00
5 min

The Myth of the 'Perfect Parent' and the Power of Authenticity

The hosts discuss the guilt many parents feel when they’re not joyful or playful. Leora and Elle normalize moments of emotional depletion and emphasize that being a role model means showing up as your full, imperfect self.

10:00
5 min

Parenting as a Practice of Attunement and Presence

It's all about noticing. It's all about noticing the small moments, slowing down, and then kind of adjusting in that moment.

Highlight
15:00
5 min

From Gentle to Authoritative: The 'Captain of the Ship' Framework

I'm not in charge of my children. I'm not the boss of them. They're autonomous human beings... but I am in charge of the relationship that I hold with them.

Highlight
High-Impact Quotes
When we invest in our pleasure, we learn the tools somatically in our own body that bring us more alive.
V.0:00
Viral: 90.0
Let them have their feeling. It will pass. It is energy and motion. But then let's start asking similar questions: How did that make you feel? Why do you think it made you feel that way?
Elle57:59
Viral: 88.0
I want her to see me dancing. I want her to see me smelling the flower. I want her to see me moving my body.
Leora55:11
Viral: 87.0
Speakers

Hosts

V.Elle

Guest

Leora
Topics Discussed
pleasure as parenting foundation95%kink and parenting integration90%tantra and emotional regulation88%aftercare in parenting87%authoritative parenting85%boundaries and consent with kids83%body awareness and presence81%sensory play with children80%
People & Brands

Leora

person

45xPositive

V.

person

32xPositive

Elle

person

30xPositive

Beducated

organization

6xPositive

Tantra Philly

organization

4xPositive

Wands

brand

3xPositive

Gentle Parenting

other

3xNeutral

Eden

person

3xPositive

We Have Had Eden

organization

2xPositive

ISTA

organization

2xPositive

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