166: What It Really Takes to Be a Good Porn Star, a Good Dom, and Actually Good in Bed feat. Small Hands

In this candid and insightful episode of Girls Gone Deep, host V. and guest Aaron Thompson—known professionally as Small Hands—delve into the realities of being a porn performer, a dominant partner, and a skilled lover. Aaron shares his origin story, revealing how he entered the adult industry not for fame, but as a cost-saving measure for his then-partner, Joanna, a powerhouse in the business. Over 12 years, he evolved from a nervous novice to a seasoned performer, emphasizing that success in porn isn’t about constant arousal but about skill, consent, and emotional intelligence. He breaks down the technical aspects of filming—like camera angles and pacing—and reveals how authenticity, especially in male-male chemistry, makes scenes more compelling. Aaron also discusses the ethical standards of modern porn production, highlighting companies like Brazzers and Balesa, and underscores the importance of boundary talks, safe words, and mental preparation. He reflects on how his career has shaped his real-life intimacy, advocating for emotionally monogamous, sexually non-monogamous relationships and the power of presence, listening, and compartmentalization. Finally, he offers practical advice on overcoming erectile dysfunction through physical health, mental focus, and tools like to-do lists and timers, framing orgasms as a form of self-care. Key takeaways include: 1) Real intimacy begins with listening and being present, not just physical performance; 2) Consent and transparency are the foundation of ethical sex and porn; 3) Mental preparation and self-care—like hydration, sleep, and compartmentalizing stress—are essential for sexual performance; 4) Authenticity in male-male dynamics (like with his friend Owen Gray) creates more believable and powerful scenes; 5) You don’t need to be a 'horny machine'—training your mind to perform on command is more important than constant desire; 6) Treat your body like an athlete’s, because sexual performance is physical work; 7) Use tools like to-do lists and timers to free your mind for the moment; 8) Orgasms are not just pleasure—they’re a form of emotional and mental reset. The episode closes with a powerful message: honesty, respect, and self-awareness are the true keys to being good in bed and in life.