Savage Love Episode 1015

In this episode of the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage addresses a range of intimate and complex relationship questions with his signature blend of humor, empathy, and unflinching honesty. The episode opens with a plug for Sessions Live, Esther Perel’s annual conference in Brooklyn, where Savage will be speaking to mark the 20th anniversary of her seminal book, Mating in Captivity. He then dives into listener questions, beginning with a query about casual dating etiquette—clarifying that it’s entirely reasonable to chat with multiple people on dating apps, and that proactively disclosing this is unnecessary and potentially damaging to the dynamic. A follow-up question about drying a Fleshlight in a moldy apartment prompts Savage to deliver a blunt warning: the real danger isn’t the damp toy, but the black mold growing in the apartment, urging the listener to move out immediately. A deeply personal story from a 35-year-old lesbian who lost sexual sensation after a trapeze accident leads to a compassionate and detailed discussion with pelvic floor specialist Dr. Rachel Gelman, who emphasizes the importance of seeking out sexual medicine specialists and advocating for oneself in medical settings. Savage then tackles a sensitive case of boundary violation in a polyamorous relationship, firmly siding with the survivor and advising her not to meet the perpetrator again—especially not in a public space with cameras—because her instinct to feel unsafe is valid. Finally, he responds to a long-term married man struggling with a sexless marriage due to his wife’s trauma and menopause, suggesting that ethical non-monogamy or hiring a sex worker could be viable options to preserve his mental health and marriage, though he acknowledges the emotional complexity involved. The episode closes with listener feedback, including a powerful correction from a listener who rightly points out that a woman can safely compliment a man’s cologne without implying romantic interest.