Conversion Therapy Nearly Killed Me - with Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez

In this powerful episode of *Getting Better with Jonathan Van Ness*, host Jonathan sits down with Tim Schrader-Rodriguez, author of *Conversion Therapy Dropout*, to unpack the devastating impact of conversion therapy on LGBTQ+ individuals. Tim shares his harrowing journey from being a devout church youth in Peoria, Illinois, to being expelled from a church in Washington state after his sexuality was discovered, leading him into eight years of covert conversion therapy through online support groups and in-person ministries. Despite the outward normalcy of weekly therapy sessions and behavioral restrictions—like banning music by female artists and forcing conformity to rigid gender roles—Tim reveals how the internal damage was profound, eroding his self-worth and identity. The episode delves into the insidious nature of conversion therapy, which often masquerades as supportive counseling while systematically dismantling queer identity. Tim also discusses the current Supreme Court case, *Chiles v. Salazar*, where a Christian therapist is challenging Colorado’s ban on conversion therapy, highlighting the ongoing threat to LGBTQ+ youth and the rise of new, more covert groups like the Changed Movement that continue the work of discredited organizations like Exodus International. Jonathan and Tim emphasize that healing from conversion therapy is not linear and requires affirming communities, storytelling, and systemic change. Tim reflects on finding belonging again in a queer-affirming church in New York City—a transformative moment where he was invited to serve communion, symbolizing full acceptance. The conversation underscores the difference between religion and spirituality, advocating for a personal, inclusive faith that embraces all identities. They also address the intersection of Christian nationalism, colonialism, and gender binaries, exposing how these forces have been weaponized to justify harm. Ultimately, the episode is a call to action: to support survivors, challenge harmful narratives, and build safe spaces where LGBTQ+ people can thrive without having to erase themselves.