#482 From Lips to Tips: Mastering Sexy Communication & Pleasure Mapping
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In this episode of Shameless Sex, hosts Amy and April dive into two powerful clips from their Intimacy Rewired six-week online program, featuring Dr. Charlie Glickman and Sarah Tomchesson. Glickman explores the art of embodied communication, emphasizing that true connection in relationships—especially around sex—requires moving beyond performance and instead focusing on mutual desire, curiosity, and safety. He introduces the concept of 'smuggled desires'—unspoken needs disguised as indirect requests—and advocates for direct, vulnerable communication. Sarah Tomchesson then shifts the focus to pleasure literacy, teaching listeners how to map their bodies’ unique pleasure responses through sensory awareness, touch exploration, and creating a pleasure-friendly environment. She emphasizes that pleasure is not just about orgasm but about presence, relaxation, and expanding one’s sensory vocabulary. Both speakers stress the importance of touch outside of sex, practicing skills when stakes are low, and using tools like the resilient edge of resistance to deepen intimacy and arousal. The episode concludes with practical exercises and a strong call to action to join the upcoming Intimacy Rewired cohort in September 2026.
Practice direct communication by naming your desires instead of hiding them as 'smuggled desires'.
Use a 1-10 scale to rate your wants and needs to navigate differences in desire with your partner.
Build pleasure literacy by tuning into your body’s sensations, especially in non-sexual moments.
Expand your touch vocabulary by exploring lesser erogenous zones before moving to genital stimulation.
Create a pleasure-friendly environment through relaxation, safety, and sensory rituals.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
The Power of Touch Beyond Sex
The episode opens with a reminder that touch must exist outside of sex to reduce pressure and create a foundation for deeper connection. The hosts introduce the Intimacy Rewired program and set the stage for two key speakers on communication and pleasure.
Embodied Communication: From Smuggled Desires to Curiosity
“Curiosity is really, really valuable. But it doesn't need to come with a pushiness, right? Curiosity is just that. I'm really curious about this. I might not get what I want, but I'd just like to know more.”
Pleasure Literacy: Mapping Your Body’s Signals
“Pleasure is not productivity-based. It is really something that you do simply for enjoyment. It's not linear, it's not performative, and it is not immune to stress, grief, trauma, or relationship conflict.”
Somatic Check-In and Pleasure Mapping Practice
“If you start noticing some of those feelings, you've described here, like when there are waves of sensation, experiences that make you feel lighter, things that can thaw the peach, right? Then it's really easy to continue to drop into those sensations.”
Building a Pleasure-Forward Life and Joining Intimacy Rewired
The hosts wrap up by promoting the Intimacy Rewired program, highlighting its six-week structure, real-world tools, and upcoming fall 2026 cohort. They emphasize that the program helps couples break free from disconnection, improve communication, and deepen pleasure through practice. They also plug related resources, books, and sex toys.
“Pleasure is not productivity-based. It is really something that you do simply for enjoyment. It's not linear, it's not performative, and it is not immune to stress, grief, trauma, or relationship conflict.”
“Curiosity is really, really valuable. But it doesn't need to come with a pushiness, right? Curiosity is just that. I'm really curious about this. I might not get what I want, but I'd just like to know more.”
“If you start noticing some of those feelings, you've described here, like when there are waves of sensation, experiences that make you feel lighter, things that can thaw the peach, right? Then it's really easy to continue to drop into those sensations.”
Hosts
Guests
Amy
person
April
person
Dr. Charlie Glickman
person
Sarah Tomchesson
person
Intimacy Rewired
other
Shameless Sex
media
Magic Wand Waterproof
product
Ian Stratton
person
Somatica Institute
organization
VB Health
brand
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