Early Riot Grrrl: Mary Carleton

This episode of Ridiculous Crime explores the astonishing life of Mary Carlton, a 17th-century English woman who reinvented herself through a series of elaborate cons and impersonations, earning her the nickname 'the German princess.' Born in 1642 to a fiddler in Canterbury, Mary escaped a loveless marriage at 14, fled to Dover, and began a pattern of marrying men for financial gain—first a surgeon, then a nobleman in Germany, and later a London clerk named John Carlton. After being acquitted of bigamy in 1663, she became a sensation, inspiring over 30 pamphlets, plays, and zines, and even starring in a play about her own life. She used her notoriety to craft a mythos of aristocracy, claiming royal lineage and writing self-justifying autobiographies that challenged gender norms and property rights—anticipating feminist themes centuries ahead of their time. After being transported to Jamaica in 1671, she continued her schemes, eventually returning to England illegally and being arrested again. Condemned to death in 1673, she faced execution with composure, becoming a folk hero whose legend grew after her death. The episode draws parallels between Mary and modern figures like Kathleen Hanna and Kim Kardashian, framing her as a proto-Riot Grrrl who weaponized performance, identity, and media to survive and thrive in a world that offered few options for women. The episode blends historical storytelling with modern commentary, highlighting how Mary Carlton’s life was not just a series of crimes but a radical act of self-creation in a patriarchal society. Her story reveals the power of narrative, the commodification of identity, and the enduring human desire to transcend one’s origins. The hosts emphasize her agency, resilience, and theatricality, reframing her as a pioneering figure in feminist performance and early media culture. Despite being a criminal by law, Mary’s legacy is one of defiance, creativity, and cultural impact—proving that even in the 1600s, a woman could become a celebrity by rewriting her own story.