How To Stop Fighting Yourself (with Jenna Riemersma)

In this powerful episode of the Husband Material Podcast, host Drew Boa welcomes back Jenna Riemersma, bestselling author and licensed therapist, to discuss her new book *Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You*. Drawing from her personal journey of healing after experiencing sexual betrayal in her marriage, Jenna introduces the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model as a transformative approach to overcoming compulsive behaviors like porn use. The core of *Move Toward* is a simple three-step process—Notice, Know, and Need—that invites individuals to move toward, rather than fight, the parts of themselves that drive addictive behaviors. By practicing curiosity and compassion with these parts, people can uncover their hidden needs—such as safety, connection, or relief from stress—leading to lasting healing and freedom. Jenna emphasizes that this isn't about excusing behavior, but about building relationship with the wounded parts of ourselves, allowing the 'image of God' within to lead instead of fear or shame. The episode also explores how these tools apply to relationships, parenting, and spiritual growth, offering a profound shift from self-attack to self-compassion. Real-life examples, including Jenna’s own experience with a family emergency, illustrate how this approach brings clarity, courage, and emotional regulation even in high-stakes moments. The episode concludes with practical resources, including free guided meditations, worksheets, and an upcoming on-demand video curriculum available at jennarimersma.com and movetoward.com. Jenna and Drew affirm that this work reflects the heart of Jesus—moving toward the broken, the ashamed, and the lost with love and presence. The takeaway is clear: lasting transformation doesn’t come from fighting ourselves, but from welcoming every part of us with grace, curiosity, and the courage to be fully known.