We Made It Weird #246

In this deeply personal and emotionally resonant episode of 'We Made It Weird,' Pete Holmes and Valerie Bertinelli dive into a raw, real-time exploration of emotional regulation, trauma, and the power of self-awareness within intimate relationships. The episode centers on a recent moment of emotional upheaval triggered by a text from Valerie’s mother, which activated long-standing patterns of feeling unappreciated and abandoned. Rather than reacting impulsively, Valerie shares how her therapy work—specifically parts work and somatic healing—allowed her to name, acknowledge, and process her feelings in real time, even while still upset. She describes a transformative moment in therapy where she envisioned her 'highest self' as the gentle, smiling king from The Princess Bride, who acknowledges pain without denial, saying, 'The lights are still on.' This metaphor becomes a powerful mantra for resilience, acceptance, and the understanding that emotional storms don’t mean the relationship or self is broken. The conversation expands into broader themes of parenting, ancestral trauma, the importance of honoring all parts of oneself, and the beauty of impermanence—how life, like childhood, is meant to pass, and we must learn to let go with grace. The episode closes with a tender celebration of their daughter Lila’s evolving identity, her love of the macabre, and the joy found in simply being present with one another.