Dating with Borderline Personality Disorder (w/ Makhyli)
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In this deeply personal and candid episode of *Why Won't You Date Me?*, host Nicole Byer sits down with Makhyli, a talented artist and former member of the pop group Boys World, to explore the complexities of dating with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Makhyli opens up about how her BPD manifests in relationships—particularly through intense fears of abandonment, emotional dysregulation, and the mind's tendency to create dramatic scenarios even in stable partnerships. Despite these challenges, she shares how therapy, self-awareness, and a supportive partner have helped her navigate her mental health journey. The conversation also delves into her creative process, her journey of self-discovery, and her unique approach to love—like manifesting her partner through a Google Slideshow and using rose quartz on their first date. Makhyli reflects on her ADHD, her quirky personality, and the importance of authenticity in relationships, emphasizing that being honest about one’s needs and flaws is more powerful than pretending to be perfect. The episode ends on a heartfelt note with Makhyli affirming her love for Nicole, not just as a friend but as someone who truly sees her.
BPD symptoms like fear of abandonment and emotional volatility often intensify in relationships, but self-awareness and therapy can help manage them.
Authenticity and honesty—especially about your flaws—are more attractive and sustainable than performing for a partner.
A partner who complements your strengths and weaknesses (like structure to balance creativity) can create a powerful, balanced relationship.
Manifesting love through intention and ritual (like using rose quartz or creating a vision board) can be meaningful, even if it seems whimsical.
Self-acceptance is key: loving yourself is the foundation for being loved by someone else.
The Hidden Struggle of BPD in Relationships
“My brain will literally make up scenarios in the moment when I know I've been with this guy for three and a half years. This is like impossible, but he knows how to talk me down.”
The Art of Manifesting Love: Build-A-Boy and Rose Quartz
“I put a rose quartz in my pocket when I first went on the first date because I was like, this will do it. Somehow I thought that the powers of the rose quartz.”
Creative Balance: Love, Work, and ADHD
The conversation shifts to how Makhyli and her boyfriend balance their creative partnership with their romantic relationship. They discuss the challenges of living together, working on music, and managing ADHD-related forgetfulness and disorganization.
The Power of Authenticity and Emotional Honesty
“I wish we could just be up front. Just be honest, especially with dating. I don't like all the games and meeting around the bush.”
ADHD, Forgetfulness, and Life Hacks
Makhyli shares her struggles with ADHD—forgetting appointments, misreading time zones, failing her driver’s test, and falling off a motorcycle. She reveals her coping strategies: auto-pay, visual reminders, and embracing her quirks.
“I love myself. Honestly, that's the best answer I've ever gotten.”
“You can't say the wrong thing to the right person.”
“I think single people should not waver on what they want. I think so many times we're like, oh, it's fine. I'll just settle for this. But eventually within the relationship, that's going to piss you off.”
Host
Guest
Makhyli
person
Nicole Byer
person
Borderline Personality Disorder
other
Love on the Spectrum
other
Google Slideshow
product
Hissy Fit
media
Dharman Videos
media
Boys World
other
Rose Quartz
other
Warby Parker
brand
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