#654 Rachel Profiling
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In this chaotic, self-aware episode of *Tuesdays with Stories!*, Joe List delivers a sprawling, sleep-deprived narrative of a whirlwind Ohio comedy tour that blurs the lines between personal anecdote, absurdist humor, and existential fatigue. The episode opens with a surreal meta-commentary on coffee orders and merch sales, then spirals into a deeply personal story about reconnecting with an ex-girlfriend’s family during a grueling multi-city stand-up run. Joe recounts driving through Ohio with his wife and child, enduring a series of disasters: a late-night diaper blowout, a baby who won’t sleep, a missed shower, and a near-miss with a union worker’s $760 cigar gift. The emotional core emerges not in the punchlines, but in the raw vulnerability of a father trying to hold it together—literally and emotionally—while balancing family, friendship, and the relentless grind of touring. Amid the chaos, Joe reflects on generational shifts in masculinity, the death of wildness, and the quiet dignity of small acts of kindness, like a stranger buying his family pizza. The episode culminates in a surreal, almost cinematic sequence where he drives his son around a suburban neighborhood at 5 a.m., chasing the moon like a deranged romantic hero, before collapsing into a library parking lot for a 4-minute nap. It’s less a comedy set and more a fever dream of modern fatherhood, where the real punchline is survival.
Drive your child around the neighborhood at 5 a.m. to help them sleep—this is a legitimate parenting strategy, even if it looks like a crime scene.
A $760 cigar gift from a union worker in Youngstown is the most generous, confusing, and oddly moving gesture you’ll hear all year.
Never trust a baby who says ‘I want to watch Miss Rachel’ at 5:15 a.m.—they’re not tired, they’re plotting.
The most important pre-show ritual isn’t meditation or push-ups—it’s a shower. And if you don’t have one, you’re already behind.
Your ex’s family is not your enemy—unless they’re also your best friends. Then you’re in a Brady Bunch time loop.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
The Coffee Ritual and the Myth of the Overpaid Producer
Joe opens with a satirical take on the absurdity of coffee runs, mocking the idea that getting coffee is a form of servitude, while also revealing the bizarre economics of his production team. He jokes about paying his producer $8,000 a month and the myth of him getting coffee 13 times, turning a mundane office dynamic into a running gag.
The Nantucket Airport Confusion and the Death of Wildness
Joe and Mark dive into a deep dive on the sitcom *Wings*, correcting their mistaken belief that it was set in Hyannis. They explore the real filming location—Nantucket—and use it as a springboard to debate the decline of 'wild' white masculinity, linking it to phone culture, activism, and the end of Toga parties.
The Quarter Pounder Without Meat: A Philosophical Crisis
Joe launches into a surreal rant about ordering a 'double quarter pounder cheeseburger without meat,' arguing that the name is logically incoherent. He uses analogies like 'macaroni and cheese without macaroni' and 'Nissan Sentra without the car' to make his point, turning a fast-food menu into a metaphysical debate.
The Ohio Run: A Father’s Descent into Chaos
“I'm literally in dirty pants. Right. Dirty body. Yeah. Hat head, bed head, sleep head, no head. Bad feeling.”
The Cigar Gift and the Union Man from Youngstown
“Two full boxes of cigars. Oh, my word. This is a little strange. What do you think about this? Left the receipt in there.”
“He starts doing every kind of voice. He's doing Rachel. He's doing Bluey. He's doing me. He's farting. He's yelling. He's singing. Yes, Rachel profiling.”
“Two full boxes of cigars. Oh, my word. This is a little strange. What do you think about this? Left the receipt in there.”
“I'm literally in dirty pants. Right. Dirty body. Yeah. Hat head, bed head, sleep head, no head. Bad feeling.”
Host
Joe List
person
Sarah
person
Mark Norman
person
Chuck
person
Youngstown Funny Farm
place
Wings
media
Becca
person
Nantucket
place
Matt Wayne
person
Toledo Funny Bone
place
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