Junkies Throwback Thirty- 2016 Junkies Mock Draft, Lurch's AC Driveway dump
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The Sports Junkies' 'Junkies Throwback 30' episode revisits their 2016 NFL Mock Draft, featuring a comedic performance by Frank Caliendo as Mel Kiper, delivering mock draft picks with exaggerated analysis. The episode centers around a legendary story from Jason 'Lurch' Lurie about a desperate bathroom emergency during a late-night drive from Atlantic City to Potomac, where he had to defecate on a stranger’s 400-yard-long driveway after failing to find a restroom. The story, filled with humor and embarrassment, includes details like using a Nike golf towel for cleanup and driving home butt naked in his sweatpants. The mock draft proceeds with picks like Jared Goff to the Rams, Carson Wentz to the Eagles, and Jalen Ramsey to the Chargers, all delivered with satirical commentary. The episode blends football humor with personal anecdotes, highlighting the hosts’ signature blend of irreverent comedy and sports fandom.
Use a golf towel as a last-resort toilet paper in emergencies.
Always plan bathroom breaks before long drives, especially when traveling with high-stakes gambling or anxiety.
Defecating on private property, even in an emergency, constitutes trespassing and indecent exposure.
Having a backup plan (like baby wipes or a portable toilet) can prevent public embarrassment.
Comedians like Frank Caliendo can elevate mock drafts with over-the-top, memorable commentary.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
2016 Mock Draft Begins with Frank Caliendo as Mel Kiper
“The Rams have had Nick Foles, Case Keenum, Austin Davis, Sean Hill, Kellen Clemens, Sam Bradford. A.J. Feeley, Mark Bolger, Kyle Bowler, Trent Green got hurt, and then they are in dire need of a franchise quarterback.”
Eagles Select Carson Wentz, Chargers Take Jalen Ramsey
“Carson Wentz? He played two Division I teams. He stayed in Iowa State. Bang. Both from years before. Wow. Sign him up.”
Cowboys Draft Joey Bosa, Jags Select Ronnie Stanley
“Huge reach by Awa. The lying liar just told us he only selects nines and tens, but this guy, he's no better than a five.”
Seattle, 49ers, Browns Make Picks – The Draft Gets Wilder
“Miles Jack, I mean, his knee's more swollen than EB's knee, possibly more swollen than Cakes' head. It's too risky for my liking.”
Lurch’s Atlantic City Driveway Disaster Story
“It was either going to be over my silly leather or it was going to be in a guy's driveway. Had to be done.”
“It was either going to be over my silly leather or it was going to be in a guy's driveway. Had to be done.”
“Huge reach by Awa. The lying liar just told us he only selects nines and tens, but this guy, he's no better than a five.”
“The Rams have had Nick Foles, Case Keenum, Austin Davis, Sean Hill, Kellen Clemens, Sam Bradford. A.J. Feeley, Mark Bolger, Kyle Bowler, Trent Green got hurt, and then they are in dire need of a franchise quarterback.”
Hosts
Guest
Jason 'Lurch' Lurie
person
JP
person
Cakes
person
Julie Donaldson
person
Mel Kiper
person
Frank Caliendo
person
Dylan
person
Chad Dukes
person
Danny Rouget
person
Pete Medeiros
person
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