Why You Keep Choosing the Wrong Person (And How to Finally Stop) | Faith Jenkins

Faith Jenkins, a former family court judge and divorce lawyer, reveals that the key to avoiding repeated relationship failures isn't finding the 'perfect' person—but becoming the right person. Drawing from 10+ failed relationships, her own divorce court experience, and the emotional toll of her parents' split, she argues that most people don’t settle because they’re desperate, but because they haven’t done the internal work to know their own values, boundaries, and emotional triggers. Her breakthrough came not in a romantic epiphany, but in a radical shift: realizing that pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. She learned to separate feelings from facts, accept endings with grace, and stop chasing 'potential' in partners—because you can’t marry someone’s future self. Instead, she focuses on whether someone’s current behavior aligns with her values. Her most powerful insight? The true measure of a person isn’t how they treat you when things are good, but how they behave when they’re hurting, angry, or betrayed. She shares how she used pre-engagement counseling to confront hard truths—about healing from the past, unmet expectations, and life goals—before marriage. Her book, *Sis, Don’t Settle*, isn’t about waiting forever, but about using singlehood as a training ground to become emotionally mature, self-aware, and intentional. Her final message? Walk into rooms that feel too big for you—because that’s where your future lies.