363: How Did We Get Here
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In this deeply personal episode of The Nacho Kids Podcast, host Tabitha Hartman opens up about her tumultuous journey through grief, addiction, and the complex dynamics of blended family life. The episode traces her life from meeting her first husband while working as a drug and alcohol counselor, through his relapse and eventual death from a fentanyl overdose just 11 days after leaving rehab. The emotional core centers on her daughter’s seven-month disappearance in 2022, after she fled to live with her ex-husband’s sister in New Hampshire, claiming her stepfather had sexually assaulted her. Tabitha shares the heart-wrenching decision to let her daughter stay, despite the pain and fear, and the legal battles that followed, including a temporary guardianship and a restraining order. She recounts the emotional toll of being cut off from her child, the manipulation by her ex-sister-in-law, and the eventual return of her daughter—only to face new challenges, including a serious cheerleading injury and ongoing recovery. Through it all, Tabitha reflects on healing, forgiveness, and the power of truth-telling, culminating in her memoir, *How Did We Get Here?*, which she wrote to process her trauma and leave a legacy for her children. The episode ends with a powerful message about resilience, the complexity of addiction, and the importance of open communication in stepfamilies.
Grief and trauma can manifest in unexpected ways—especially in children—requiring patience, space, and professional support.
In blended families, boundaries must be respected and negotiated, especially when a child is grieving a lost parent.
When a child disappears from a family, the parent’s decision to let them stay may be the most loving choice—even if it feels like surrender.
Addiction is not a moral failing but a disease with biological and psychological roots that can be inherited or exacerbated by trauma.
Healing from loss and betrayal requires honest self-reflection, emotional honesty with partners, and the courage to write your own story.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
A Decade of Friendship and Shared Trauma
Lori and David welcome Tabitha Hartman, a longtime friend and fellow stepfamily journeyer, reflecting on their 12-year connection that began when Tabitha was pregnant with her son. The hosts acknowledge the depth of their bond forged through shared experiences in a Facebook support group.
The Death of a Husband and the Grief of a Daughter
“I had to evaluate my entire life and what that meant for my son too. Well, and you didn't want to tell your daughter, I think you're lying. No, because she's not. I knew she wasn't going to make up a story.”
The Seven-Month Separation and the Battle for Custody
“She tried to tell me that she tried to set my house on fire. She was suspended for stealing food, which is all very smidgen of truth. Yeah, she was suspended for stealing food. But what the camera saw was my child there and then someone else walked up and took something.”
The Return and the Rebuilding of Trust
“She, she was right beside me the whole time I wrote this book. Um, so I wrote it in that sort of way and it, and then I looked at it and said, nope, I really have to go, go back. Like I have to build the relationship because it really was going to be just called seven months...”
Addiction, Choice, and the Disease Debate
“There's something different with these people than people that don't have that predisposition. That makes sense. Well, you know, it's like I said, I used to think the same way that it wasn't. I was like, oh, that's BS. You're just making excuses.”
“You have a choice. Your mother did not. Now, I see your point, but I do believe that it is a disease to the effect of it changes your brain chemistry.”
“There's something different with these people than people that don't have that predisposition. That makes sense. Well, you know, it's like I said, I used to think the same way that it wasn't. I was like, oh, that's BS. You're just making excuses.”
“I had to evaluate my entire life and what that meant for my son too. Well, and you didn't want to tell your daughter, I think you're lying. No, because she's not. I knew she wasn't going to make up a story.”
Hosts
Guest
Tabitha Hartman
person
daughter
person
ex-husband
person
stepfather
person
Lori Sims
person
David Sims
person
ex-sister-in-law
person
Nacho Kids Podcast
media
How Did We Get Here?
book
alcoholism
other
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359: Building a Custody Case Against Narcissistic and Abusive Co-Parents
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360: Stepmom Becomes Only Legal Parent to Stepdaughter
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361: Keep The Target Off Your Back
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