Why Am I Doing This Again? Finding Strength and Purpose in Jesus | Matt Proctor
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In this powerful episode of the Real Life Theology Podcast, Matt Proctor, president of Ozark Christian College, addresses the universal struggle of spiritual fatigue and doubt with a compelling answer: 'Why am I doing this again?' Drawing from personal stories, historical context, and deep biblical insight, Proctor uses Revelation 1, 5, and 19 to present three transformative portraits of Jesus—first as a terrifying King, then as a tender-hearted Lamb, and finally as a victorious Warrior riding on a white horse. He illustrates how these visions renew our motivation for gospel allegiance, especially in times of hardship, persecution, or burnout. Through vivid anecdotes—from a gym shirt with the question 'Why am I doing this again?' to a child’s emotional reaction to a passion play—Proctor shows that enduring faith is rooted not in willpower, but in a fresh, awe-filled vision of who Jesus truly is. The episode culminates in a call to courage, reminding listeners that Jesus is not only present with us but is our unshakable rock, our eternal champion, and the ultimate victor over every enemy.
When you're weary in your faith, return to the vision of Jesus—not just as a gentle teacher, but as a terrifying, majestic, and victorious King.
Gospel allegiance is sustained not by effort alone, but by remembering that Jesus is both deeply loving (the Lamb) and powerfully sovereign (the Warrior).
The question 'Why am I doing this again?' is not a sign of failure, but a sacred moment of spiritual recalibration.
Jesus is not distant or absent; He is present among His people, walking among the lampstands, seeing our sin, and calling us to repentance and courage.
Our confidence in life’s battles doesn’t come from our strength, but from the fact that the 'Rock of Ages' walks beside us every day.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
The Question That Changes Everything
“Why am I doing this again? That's why. It's a good question. A few years ago, Simon Sinek wrote a best-selling leadership book. It was entitled Start With Why...”
Revelation’s Answer: A Terrifying King
“This is not the gentle Jesus. This is not a flannel graph Jesus with little lambies around his shoulder or Mr. Rogers Jesus with little children upon his lap. This Jesus speaks in Niagara thunder. He blazes with supernova brilliance.”
The Lamb Who Loved Us: A Tender-Hearted King
“And David said to me with tears running down his cheeks, that's not fair. And I said, you're right, David. It's not fair. But he did it because he loves us.”
The Warrior on a White Horse: Jesus Is Coming to Rescue
“If I had the rock with me, I could walk down any street with confidence. If I had the rock with me, I could move through life with courage.”
The Final Call: Why We Keep Going
Proctor concludes by affirming that no matter the struggle—persecution, fatigue, fear—Jesus is our unshakable rock. He calls listeners to persevere not by grit, but by vision: remembering who Jesus is and that He is already on His way to rescue us.
“This is not the gentle Jesus. This is not a flannel graph Jesus with little lambies around his shoulder or Mr. Rogers Jesus with little children upon his lap. This Jesus speaks in Niagara thunder. He blazes with supernova brilliance.”
“And David said to me with tears running down his cheeks, that's not fair. And I said, you're right, David. It's not fair. But he did it because he loves us.”
“A day is coming when every leader, every nation will be a footnote in history. But the kingdom of Jesus Christ will reign forever.”
Host
Guest
Jesus Christ
person
Revelation
book
Matt Proctor
person
Katie Proctor
person
John (Apostle)
person
Dwayne The Rock Johnson
person
David
person
Ozark Christian College
organization
Clara Proctor
person
Baywatch
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