Water Your Garden

In this powerful episode of *Finding Okay*, host Hecate speaks with Thick Sparklebutt, a poet and Twitch streamer who shares her journey from surviving a high-control religious cult to enduring a covert, deceptive assault that fits the legal definition of rape by deception. Thick recounts growing up in a generational cult where emotional manipulation, public shaming, and enforced conformity erased her identity, leaving her with no boundaries or sense of self. After leaving at 42, she entered a relationship that mirrored the control she’d escaped—only to be betrayed by a man who lied about his polyamorous relationship and emotionally manipulated her. The betrayal, compounded by a miscarriage and the loss of her creative community, led to a mental health crisis, self-erasure, and a complete digital detox. Through therapy—specifically with a Black therapist who understood her cultural and religious trauma—Thick reclaimed her voice, her identity, and her creativity. She emphasizes the importance of healing as non-linear, the necessity of boundaries, and the profound act of 'watering your garden'—focusing on self-care and inner healing. Her story is a testament to resilience, the power of community, and the necessity of systemic change in how society recognizes and prosecutes deception-based sexual assault.