Terri Cole on High Functioning Codependency, Burnout & Boundaries

In this powerful episode of Earn Your Happy, host Laura connects with psychotherapist and author Terri Cole to explore the nuanced and often hidden reality of high-functioning codependency (HFC). Terri shares her personal journey of recognizing her own HFC patterns—over-investment in others' outcomes, emotional labor, and the compulsive need to fix, control, and plan for others—even while appearing highly capable and successful. She explains how HFC thrives in modern women who are empathetic, high-achieving, and emotionally intelligent, but at the cost of their own peace, energy, and authenticity. The conversation unpacks the emotional toll of chronic over-functioning, including burnout, resentment, and loneliness, and emphasizes that the root of codependency isn't weakness, but a misguided attempt to control others' emotions and outcomes out of love. Terri offers practical tools for recovery, including asking 'What do you think you should do?' instead of giving unsolicited advice, setting boundaries, surrendering to what is, and practicing self-consideration over self-abandonment. The episode culminates in a transformative message: when you stop trying to fix others, you reclaim your life, deepen your relationships, and finally become fully known and seen.