490. Ten questions to ask yourself if you are unsure about having kids

In this deeply reflective episode of 'Do You F*cking Mind?', the host tackles one of life's most profound and emotionally charged decisions: whether or not to have children. Targeting those genuinely unsure—rather than those with firm convictions—the episode unfolds as a guided self-inquiry through 10 powerful, introspective questions. The host emphasizes that having children is one of the most permanent life choices, with no real 'undo' button, and warns against making the decision based on fear, societal pressure, or the desire to fill emotional voids. Drawing from personal experience and anecdotal evidence, she explores the distinction between wanting a child versus wanting the feeling of purpose, connection, or identity that parenthood might bring. She stresses the importance of examining one's relationship with their partner, the reality of parenting versus mere reproduction, and the preservation of personal identity and autonomy. The episode culminates in a call to ask: if no one expected anything from you, what would you truly choose? Ultimately, the goal isn't to find a perfect answer, but to achieve clarity and alignment with one's values, support system, and vision for both personal and future child-centered life. The host delivers a balanced, non-judgmental, and empowering message: there is no universal 'right' answer, and both paths—having children or not—carry valid trade-offs. She debunks myths about regret, challenges the notion of selfishness in either choice, and highlights that parental happiness is far more dependent on relationship quality and support systems than on the mere presence of children. With raw honesty and humor, she shares her own journey of uncertainty, her partner’s active involvement, and how maintaining normality—like weekly dinners and personal passions—helps preserve mental health. The episode ends with an invitation to listeners to reflect, discuss, and contribute their own questions, fostering a community-driven exploration of one of life’s most intimate decisions.