How Young People Are Learning About Sex (And What They're Getting Wrong)

In this powerful episode of Consider Before Consuming, host Natalie speaks with Chanel Contos, founder of Teach Us Consent, about the urgent crisis of youth-on-youth sexual assault in Australia and how pornography is shaping young people's understanding of sex, consent, and relationships. Contos shares how a single Instagram post led to 7,000+ testimonies revealing widespread, often non-physical coercion—such as alcohol-fueled pressure, blackmail, and 'oral rape'—that young people often don’t recognize as assault. She explains how Australia’s mandatory, age-appropriate consent education program, starting in kindergarten, teaches children to ask for consent, respect rejection, and challenge gender norms. The episode highlights the dangerous influence of pornography, which normalizes coercive behaviors and creates unrealistic expectations, especially among teenage boys who lack healthy models of intimacy. Contos emphasizes that both perpetrators and survivors are victims of a system that fails to educate young people about consent, empathy, and healthy relationships. She advocates for holistic education, including porn literacy and algorithm regulation, to counteract the addictive and manipulative design of online content. Despite the gravity of the issue, Contos finds hope in young people’s desire for better, more compassionate relationships and the growing demand for real, shame-free education. Key takeaways include: 1) Consent must be enthusiastic, ongoing, and revocable—silence is not consent. 2) Young people are being shaped by pornography and algorithms, not healthy relationships, making early, ongoing consent education essential. 3) Fawning—survival-based compliance—is a common trauma response that should not be mistaken for consent. 4) Systemic change requires education, not just restriction; porn literacy and digital citizenship are critical. 5) Empathy must outweigh entitlement in sexual relationships. 6) Young people want help—they’re not inherently harmful, but they’re missing the tools to navigate intimacy safely. 7) Parents must confront their own ignorance about youth exposure to pornography. 8) The solution lies in holistic, accessible, and shame-free education that empowers both young people and adults.