Episode 365: Cry Bate
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In this chaotic and comedic episode of Balls Out with Ben Glaze and Brett Hayes, the hosts dive into a whirlwind of absurd topics, starting with a satirical take on 311 concert ticket pricing and the absurd '311 Nation VIP' add-on that forces fans to sign up for a fan club just to get lawn seats. The conversation spirals into a hilarious tangent about a dog named Hutch who devours a box of Girl Scout cookies (renamed 'Caramel Delights' due to political correctness), leading to a panic-filled morning and a mock funeral. The hosts then pivot to a deep-dive on the movie 'Project Hail Mary,' praising Ryan Gosling's performance and the film's emotional depth, while also sharing personal reactions—Ben admits to crying in the car after the movie, calling it a 'cry bait' experience. They also riff on celebrity gossip, including Sidney Sweeney’s relationship with Scooter Braun, mock the idea of 'scooting' as a sexual act, and discuss recent plane crashes, airport chaos, and the absurdity of modern travel. The episode ends with a self-aware, over-the-top apology for its stupidity, embracing the show's unfiltered, cartoonish energy as a form of comedic freedom.
311's ticket system forces fans into a '311 Nation VIP' package, creating confusion and frustration despite the added cost.
A dog named Hutch eats an entire box of Girl Scout cookies, leading to a comedic panic and a mock funeral.
The movie 'Project Hail Mary' is hailed as a cinematic masterpiece with emotional depth and strong performances.
The hosts embrace absurdity and offensive humor as a form of creative freedom and comedic catharsis.
Modern travel is portrayed as stressful, with long TSA lines and dangerous incidents like plane crashes.
…and 2 more takeaways available in PodZeus
311 Ticket Chaos and Fan Club Fiasco
“It's like they're making you go through 311 to get these instead of the end. Yeah, but I'm already a 311 Nation member. It seems stupid to have a $20 add-on fee for every ticket for somebody that's already a member.”
Hutch the Dog and the Caramel Delight Catastrophe
“He ate the rest of the box. Yeah, he ate the rest of the box. How many do you think were in that box? Like a full box besides the couple you ate? Besides the three that I had, there's probably 10, 11 maybe.”
Project Hail Mary: A Cinematic Masterpiece
“I almost shed a tear, but like one, there was one right on the verge of my eye. Yeah. But it never dropped. You sucked it back in. I sucked it back in. I'm like, nah, I'm not going to let Ben see me like this.”
Celebrity Gossip, Sex Jokes, and Movie Trivia
The conversation shifts to celebrity relationships (Sidney Sweeney and Scooter Braun), mock sexual acts ('scooting'), and discussions about 'Euphoria,' 'Wuthering Heights,' and 'The House Made,' with absurd nicknames and jokes.
Plane Crashes, Travel Nightmares, and the Power of Reels
The hosts react to a recent plane crash involving a fire truck, discuss airport chaos, TSA lines, and the absurdity of modern travel, while also mocking social media (especially Facebook Reels) as a news source.
“It's so cartoonish and stupid and ridiculous that I think it's humorous. I'm done. Goodbye. Oh boy. That's awesome!”
“He ate the rest of the box. Yeah, he ate the rest of the box. How many do you think were in that box? Like a full box besides the couple you ate? Besides the three that I had, there's probably 10, 11 maybe.”
“Scoot, scoot, scoot. Scoot, scoot, scoot. You just put your face in between and go, scoot, scoot.”
Hosts
Ben Glaze
person
Brett Hayes
person
311
other
Hutch
other
Project Hail Mary
media
Girl Scout cookies
product
Ryan Gosling
person
Sidney Sweeney
person
Bill
person
Scooter Braun
person
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