Armchair Anonymous: Unauthorized Evacuation III

In this episode of Armchair Expert, Dax Shepard and Monica Padman welcome four guests sharing deeply personal, humorous, and cringe-worthy stories of unauthorized evacuations—unexpected and often catastrophic bodily incidents in public. Kayla recounts her college-era ordeal at an Ulta makeup counter, where a laxative taken for constipation caused a full-blown diarrhea accident, leading to her soiling her clothes and the store floor, only to return to work in new clothes and face a manager who knew but never addressed it. Josh shares a similarly mortifying tale from his first day as a teacher, where he barely made it to a school bathroom before losing control in a tiny stall, spending the rest of the day teaching commando in khaki pants. Rachel, from Wisconsin, describes a tubing trip on the Fox River where she experienced severe food poisoning after eating a questionable mayonnaise sandwich, forcing her to evacuate three times in the river—once while submerged—while trying to maintain dignity. Finally, Kara recounts a traumatic experience at a Christian summer camp in Canada, where fiber bars caused her to lose control mid-ride on a banana-shaped inner tube, leading to a horrifying walk back through the woods in wet, poopy spandex. The episode blends raw vulnerability with dark humor, emphasizing how these moments, while deeply embarrassing, are universal and often bonding experiences. The hosts highlight the absurdity, resilience, and humanity in these stories, turning shame into shared laughter and connection.