The real reason American men are struggling

In this episode of Apple News Today, host Sam Sanders explores the deeper human realities behind the national conversation about the 'crisis of men' in America, guided by journalist Jordan Ritter-Kahn's new book, *American Men*. Through intimate portraits of four diverse men—Ryan, a gay Mohawk man grappling with violence and identity; Gideon, a West Point graduate whose perfect life unravels after betrayal; Joseph, an Iraq veteran hiding trauma from childhood abuse; and Nate, a trans man in rural Ohio navigating gender, isolation, and digital vs. real-world connection—the episode reveals that the core of men's struggles isn't a single crisis, but a lifelong wrestling with a flawed, inherited script of masculinity. Ritter-Kahn argues that the real issue is not men failing to meet standards, but the standards themselves being unattainable and emotionally destructive. The conversation shifts from blame to empathy, emphasizing that vulnerability, connection, and meaning-making through work and relationships are essential to a full life. Listeners share personal stories of loneliness, emotional suppression, and redefining manhood after life-altering changes, underscoring a universal longing for belonging and authenticity. The episode concludes with a call to action: men must stop performing and start talking—about emotions, relationships, and identity—just as women have done in feminist discourse for decades. Ritter-Kahn shares how writing the book transformed his own relationships, urging listeners to prioritize intimacy, self-awareness, and community. The takeaway is clear: masculinity isn’t about strength or stoicism, but about courage to be seen, to ask for help, and to build a life rooted in care and connection. The book, and this conversation, offer not a fix, but a lifeline—a reminder that no one is alone in their struggle.