Return of the HAMS

93X Half-Assed Morning Show2h 28mMay 5, 2026

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AI-Generated Summary

The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show returns from a week-long hiatus with a high-energy mix of vacation tales, absurd news, sports analysis, and irreverent humor. Hosts Dana and Cubby share their contrasting getaways—Dana immersed in the natural splendor of the Pacific Northwest, complete with a surprise James Taylor concert and Rainier beer, while Cubby braved San Diego’s attractions, from the USS Midway to a Padres game, despite a near-miss with Blink-182 and an awkward airport pat-down. The show dives into bizarre headlines, including a man arrested for licking dirty diapers and another who dug up his sister’s corpse for bank access, before turning to sports, praising the Timberwolves’ dominant Game 1 win over the Spurs and the record-breaking 15-goal NHL playoff game between the Pigs and Avalanche. The hosts, including Randy Shaver, C. Willie Miles, and Josh, defend the high-octane nature of the hockey game, debate Quinn Hughes’ legacy, and predict another explosive Game 2. The episode continues with Dr. P. Jesus delivering candid, humorous medical advice on topics ranging from prostate health and kidney transplant eligibility to constipation and sexual dysfunction, all delivered with the show’s trademark blend of levity and empathy. The segment closes with heartfelt listener shout-outs and a promotional push for the Loons on the Lake Comedy Festival, featuring Mary Mack, Maggie Ferris, and Don McMillan, alongside a reminder to book HVAC services early via standardheating.com.

Key Takeaways
1

Book HVAC services by May 25th to secure a $45 discount via standardheating.com.

2

Vacations can be transformative—nature and spontaneity in places like the Pacific Northwest can shift perspectives.

3

Avoid dangerous or illegal acts on vacation, such as digging up corpses or interacting with wild snakes.

4

The Pigs-Avalanche Game 1 was a historic 15-goal playoff game, one of the highest-scoring in NHL history, showcasing elite offensive firepower.

5

Living kidney donors are a rare and precious gift—waiting for deceased donor organs is a long and emotional process.

…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus

Chapters
0:00
3 min

Welcome Back & AC Tune-Up Promo

The show kicks off with Dana welcoming listeners back after a week off, promoting Standard Heating and Air Conditioning’s early bird AC tune-up deal. The hosts reflect on their return and the chaos of being the only ones in the studio.

3:00
4 min

Vacation Stories: Pacific Northwest & San Diego

I almost puked once or twice. I bet. Just like, holy balls, what are we doing up here?

Highlight
7:00
5 min

Absurd News: Diaper Licker, Cobra Death, Corpse Theft

He's been thrown smooth into an English prison for as long as two years, but he still comes out of there with an insatiable appetite for urine and feces served up in a game-used diaper.

Highlight
12:00
6 min

Playoff Breakdown: Wolves, Pigs, and NBA Drama

The speed that both clubs bring to the game is remarkable. It is yes. I would agree. I think I follow what you were saying Randy Shaver.

Highlight
1:31:23
2 min

The 15-Goal Game: A Playoff Masterpiece

That was an all-timer. Felt like he needed a cigarette after. Yeah. You felt like somebody bent you smooth over.

Highlight
High-Impact Quotes
He's been thrown smooth into an English prison for as long as two years, but he still comes out of there with an insatiable appetite for urine and feces served up in a game-used diaper.
Dana43:47
Viral: 90.0
That was an all-timer. Felt like he needed a cigarette after. Yeah. You felt like somebody bent you smooth over.
Randy Shaver94:44
Viral: 85.0
I almost puked once or twice. I bet. Just like, holy balls, what are we doing up here?
Cubby6:48
Viral: 75.0
Speakers

Hosts

DanaCubbyRandy ShaverC. Willie MilesJoshHost Name

Guests

Dr. P. JesusDr. P
Topics Discussed
NHL Playoff Game Analysis95%vacation experiences90%comedy festival promotion90%absurd news stories85%Listener Anecdotes and Humor85%kidney transplant process85%nba playoffs80%Player Performance and Legacy80%male sexual health and pain78%
People & Brands

dana

person

25xPositive

cubby

person

20xPositive

Dr. P. Jesus

person

18xPositive

timberwolves

organization

12xPositive

Pigs

other

12xNeutral

abby normal

person

8xNegative

Avalanche

other

8xNeutral

wemby

person

7xPositive

Quinn Hughes

person

6xPositive

rainier beer

product

6xPositive

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