Return of the HAMS
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The 93X Half-Assed Morning Show returns from a week-long hiatus with a high-energy mix of vacation tales, absurd news, sports analysis, and irreverent humor. Hosts Dana and Cubby share their contrasting getaways—Dana immersed in the natural splendor of the Pacific Northwest, complete with a surprise James Taylor concert and Rainier beer, while Cubby braved San Diego’s attractions, from the USS Midway to a Padres game, despite a near-miss with Blink-182 and an awkward airport pat-down. The show dives into bizarre headlines, including a man arrested for licking dirty diapers and another who dug up his sister’s corpse for bank access, before turning to sports, praising the Timberwolves’ dominant Game 1 win over the Spurs and the record-breaking 15-goal NHL playoff game between the Pigs and Avalanche. The hosts, including Randy Shaver, C. Willie Miles, and Josh, defend the high-octane nature of the hockey game, debate Quinn Hughes’ legacy, and predict another explosive Game 2. The episode continues with Dr. P. Jesus delivering candid, humorous medical advice on topics ranging from prostate health and kidney transplant eligibility to constipation and sexual dysfunction, all delivered with the show’s trademark blend of levity and empathy. The segment closes with heartfelt listener shout-outs and a promotional push for the Loons on the Lake Comedy Festival, featuring Mary Mack, Maggie Ferris, and Don McMillan, alongside a reminder to book HVAC services early via standardheating.com.
Book HVAC services by May 25th to secure a $45 discount via standardheating.com.
Vacations can be transformative—nature and spontaneity in places like the Pacific Northwest can shift perspectives.
Avoid dangerous or illegal acts on vacation, such as digging up corpses or interacting with wild snakes.
The Pigs-Avalanche Game 1 was a historic 15-goal playoff game, one of the highest-scoring in NHL history, showcasing elite offensive firepower.
Living kidney donors are a rare and precious gift—waiting for deceased donor organs is a long and emotional process.
…and 3 more takeaways available in PodZeus
Welcome Back & AC Tune-Up Promo
The show kicks off with Dana welcoming listeners back after a week off, promoting Standard Heating and Air Conditioning’s early bird AC tune-up deal. The hosts reflect on their return and the chaos of being the only ones in the studio.
Vacation Stories: Pacific Northwest & San Diego
“I almost puked once or twice. I bet. Just like, holy balls, what are we doing up here?”
Absurd News: Diaper Licker, Cobra Death, Corpse Theft
“He's been thrown smooth into an English prison for as long as two years, but he still comes out of there with an insatiable appetite for urine and feces served up in a game-used diaper.”
Playoff Breakdown: Wolves, Pigs, and NBA Drama
“The speed that both clubs bring to the game is remarkable. It is yes. I would agree. I think I follow what you were saying Randy Shaver.”
The 15-Goal Game: A Playoff Masterpiece
“That was an all-timer. Felt like he needed a cigarette after. Yeah. You felt like somebody bent you smooth over.”
“He's been thrown smooth into an English prison for as long as two years, but he still comes out of there with an insatiable appetite for urine and feces served up in a game-used diaper.”
“That was an all-timer. Felt like he needed a cigarette after. Yeah. You felt like somebody bent you smooth over.”
“I almost puked once or twice. I bet. Just like, holy balls, what are we doing up here?”
Hosts
Guests
dana
person
cubby
person
Dr. P. Jesus
person
timberwolves
organization
Pigs
other
abby normal
person
Avalanche
other
wemby
person
Quinn Hughes
person
rainier beer
product
Get a Job?
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